Fragments
by TheLittleBookDragon
Summary: Kirito and Asuna have escaped SAO and are happily married, and now trying for a child. But the road is never easy, especially due to Asuna's condition. M for mature themes and a depressing plot.
1. Fragments

**{{A/N: Hey guys, it sure has been quite a long time. Well I got bored today and puttered out some crap on a keyboard and I figured, hey, might as well! Lemme know what you think, and feel free to send me PM's if you want any more Kirito/Asuna fanfics. Thanks, and stay away from the circus!}}**

Fragments

Asuna sat on the edge of the bed with Kirito, her left hand entwined with his, in her right- a small white stick. She was glaring at it indignantly, as if daring it to double cross her. Kirito was much more nervous and slightly flushed. Asuna would surely be in a bad mood if this didn't go the way they wanted it to, so he felt he should step in before she steamed for too long.  
"Asuna, I don't think-" Kirito began, but was immediately cut off.  
"No, just give it a second." Asuna said sharply, annoyance creeping into her voice. Kirito swallowed hard and tried again.  
"Asuna-"  
"Kirito! Look! Look!" Asuna jumped up suddenly, only to be yanked back down by a surprised Kirito, who was still rooted to the bed. She held out the stick, which had been blank a moment before, to reveal a small pink plus sign. Kirito's eyes widened, and he stared slack jawed at the test for a moment as if he couldn't believe the results. When reality sunk in, he sprung up and encased Asuna in a hug, spinning her around until he was too dizzy and had to flop them both back on the bed, laughing.

Asuna smiled at him, still laying on her back. "We did it, Kirito." She whispered, joyful tears dripping down her cheeks.  
"Yeah, we did." Kirito reached out and wiped her tears away softly with his thumb. "Yui will be with us soon. I know it."  
Asuna let her hand travel down to her lower abdomen, her eyes sliding closed. "Don't worry, Yui-chan. Mommy will take good care of you."

"I can _walk_! I'm not even _three months in!"_ Asuna groaned as Kirito brought breakfast in on a tray- again.  
"But, Asuna, I'm just worried. You know what happened the last few times…" As soon as he started, Kirito realized he'd made a mistake. The light in Asuna's eyes dimmed ever so slightly, glassing over with unshed tears.

When Kirito and Asuna had first begun to try for a baby, they were told by a Doctor that the probability was slim. Asuna's period had been erratic since her release from Alfheim. She had lost so much weight during her comatose that her body had simply stopped her period in order to put its focus into more important things, like powering her heart. Even after intensive physical therapy her body still hadn't quite gotten the memo.

But Asuna wasn't one to give up. She took prescribed medicine to help aid her, ate healthily, and even gave up coffee in the mornings. She was pregnant a few months later, and Kirito remembered how happy he was when he first heard.  
But it wasn't to be. Three months in, she felt a sharp pain in her side and felt blood drip down between her legs. Kirito frantically rushed her to the hospital, but it was too late. A miscarriage. Kirito felt his heart contract, remembering how beaten down Asuna looked at that time. How unresponsive she was to any stimulant; it was only when Kirito promised her that they'd try again, that they'd make it happen, that she cheered up.

They'd had two other miscarriages since.

"It won't happen this time. I can feel it." Asuna whispered. Kirito set the tray down on the side table and sat down at the edge of the bed, taking Asuna's hands in his. He couldn't speak; what was there to say? He couldn't promise her that it wouldn't happen again, because as much as he wanted to help her, this was out of his control. He couldn't fix this problem with a blade.

"In other news, though, I can still walk. Why don't you save the overprotectiveness for the third trimester, okay?" Asuna grinned, pushing the blankets back and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Kirito resisted the urge to scoop her up and place her gently back down on the bed, like she was a fragile, china doll.

" _Well, I suppose she is_ my _fragile china doll, no matter what she says."_ He thought, watching her change into a sun dress. When he found that his eyes were searching for a swell in her stomach, he self-consciously looked down at the ground, tugging at his bangs to hide his blush.  
"It's only been two months," Asuna smiled coyly as she fixed her hair. "I'll start showing soon enough."  
"I- I wasn't-, I mean…I know." He stuttered, defeated. Asuna laughed and hugged him, his head resting on her chest. He stood from the bed and protectively wrapped his arms around her.

"Everything is going well." The doctor smiled and handed Asuna a wet towel so she could wipe the cold cream off her belly after the ultrasound was finished. Three months in and Asuna was beginning to show now, her stomach had a small swell. Kirito went ballistic when he finally noticed one day when she was changing- it had happened so gradually that Asuna hadn't thought anything of it.

"That being said," The doctor continued, cutting the parents-to-be's celebration short. "I believe that there could be complications during birth."  
Asuna's hand moved instinctively to her stomach. "Will the baby be hurt?" She asked, voice cracking. Kirito reached over to squeeze her hand reassuringly.  
"There is little chance of that. The main risk is you surviving the birth, Asuna. Your body never fully recovered from the comatose, and it's possible that the stress of birth will be too much for you to handle."  
Kirito could feel his heart cracking, like someone took a hammer to a glass statue. "So I could lose my wife?" He asked quietly, moving to wrap an arm around Asuna.  
"No," Asuna protested. "I'll survive. I'll fight. I'm stronger than anyone thinks, and I won't die."

The doctor smiled slightly and continued on. "Would you like to know the gender of your baby?"

"Yes." Kirito and Asuna said in eager unison.

"A girl!" Kirito was buzzing when they hit home. "A girl, a girl. Yui, little Yui." He subconsciously swept Asuna into his arms and carried her inside. Asuna was smiling painfully, but Kirito hadn't seemed to have noticed.  
He set her gently on the bed and began pacing.  
"We're naming her Yui, right? Or maybe something different, maybe- Asuna?"  
When he turned around, Asuna was curled in a fetal position on the bed, her hand on her stomach. Immediately, he crawled onto the bed with her and pulled her into his arms.  
"You'll make it through. You can do it, Asuna." He mumbled into her hair; his hand moving down to join hers on her stomach. "We'll have our family again."  
Sniffling, Asuna shifted around in his arms to face him. "But what if I don't make it? What if I don't ever get to hold my baby girl, our Yui?"  
Kirito felt like someone had run his heart over with a steamroller. He pulled her as close as he could, frowning slightly when her bump got in the way.  
"I won't let that happen. No matter what, Asuna, you will hold Yui before you die."

Yui was due any day now, any second, and it was driving both Kirito and Asuna insane. They had decorated a new room for Yui, but decided that her cradle should be in their room until she was a toddler. Friends had thrown Asuna a baby shower, and Kirito was growing far more protective than ever.  
But underneath all the joy and excitement there was a churning nervousness. Every night now, when Kirito held Asuna, he wondered if it would be the last night he'd sleep with her. Asuna had panic attacks frequently; just yesterday she had dropped a ceramic bowl when Yui made a particularly strong kick.  
"I don't want to go, I'm not ready." She'd sobbed into Kirito's arms. "I don't want to die! I don't want to die!"  
So it was odd that, when the moment came, she was calm.  
It was a fairly normal day. Asuna was sitting on the couch, her hand resting gently on her stomach, when she felt something wet trickle down her leg. Her eyes snapped open from their sleepy haze.  
"Kirito, love?" She called, struggling to get out of a sitting position.  
Kirito rushed into the room immediately and helped her up, leaning in to give her a quick kiss. "What is it, love?"  
"Yui's coming."

His heart stopped. If someone had checked his pulse at the scene of a crime, he would certainly have been deemed dead, he thought. She had said it so calmly that it barely registered with him at first. Then he felt his brain kick into hyper gear.

"Let's go, come on, carefully…" He repeated as he helped her into the car. His heart was beating so fast he could hear it roaring in his ears. "Everything's going to be okay. It's all fine, everything is going to be okay. It isn't snowing, see? There won't be road problems. That's good..."  
His rambling was becoming more and more incoherent with each word. If you asked him later how he managed to drive a car, he would tell you that he couldn't remember it himself. He felt like he was going into a boss battle, without any weapons.

They arrived at the hospital and were led into a room. Asuna's contractions weren't close enough to be of any worry yet, so the two had time to talk.  
"Kirito?" Asuna whispered, wincing as another contraction sent a wave of pain through her body.  
"Yes, Asuna?" He whispered back. He felt as if he had to say her name as much as possible, take as much of her in as he could.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too."

"Just a bit more," The doctor coaxed Asuna, her body trembling from the exertion of birth. She bit down hard on the tongue depressor they'd given her, in case she needed it. She did.  
"Come on, love, it's going to be okay." Kirito was holding one of her hands in both of his, holding back tears. Seeing Asuna in such pain tore something inside of him- and all he could do was watch.  
Asuna opened her eyes and shakily pulled the tongue depressor out of her mouth. "Kirito."  
"I'm here, I'm right here. You're doing fine, you're going to be okay." But he was lying, and he knew it. Her grip was so weak in his hands, and her eyes were beginning to glaze over. If she went through much more of this, she wouldn't make it. If she went through much more of this, Asuna would-

" _Waaaah! Waaaaah!"_

The cries of a desperate baby interrupted his thoughts. "You did it! Asuna! We did it!" He yelped, relief flooding through everyone in the room. He felt her gently squeeze his hand, so he squeezed back before rushing to get Yui.  
"Asuna, look, Asuna, she's beautiful." He said, cradling the child. "Here, Asuna, hold her…Asuna? Asuna?"  
Her hand had fallen weakly down onto the bed, and she hadn't moved it since. A monitor was beeping steadily in the background, a frantic, long note. Her eyes were closed, and the tension was gone from her face, as if she was at peace.  
 _"ASUNA!"_

As if she knew what was happening, Yui began to cry again.


	2. Scattered

**A sort of sequel, as requested. - The Little Book Dragon**

Scattered

Kirito stared down into the glass, his mind too hazy to make much sense of what he saw. A scene played back in his head like an old film, washed out and fading.

" _I'm sorry for your loss." Said another faceless man, patting Kirito's shoulder. He nodded stiffly, a reflex at this point. Normally he would have the unresistable urge to muss his neatly combed hair back into its usual unruly mess, but today he could barely feel anything. His eyes wandered again to the sleek black coffin that contained his loving wife, then down to the smaller one that contained his child. It was as if the world was punishing him. Not only did he lose the love of his life, but the child they promised to raise together. The death of Yui had come as a shock-_ 'birth complications' _the Doctor had proclaimed sadly, handing a small bundle wrapped in white cloth to Kirito.  
"Onii-chan." He was snapped from his grim reminiscing by his younger sister, Suguha. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks, and her lips quivered as if she was barely containing a sob. Kirito attempted to move his lips up in something resembling a smile, but couldn't even managed a grimace.  
"It's time to start." Suguha whispered, taking her brothers hand and leading him to a seat between Suguha and her mother, as if Kirito was a five year old that needed to be guided across a busy road._

"GRAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed in real time, throwing the glass full of water at a nearby wall. It shattered, fragments of glass flying back to cut his face. Kirito reached down and grabbed large chunks of the glass, throwing them at the wall until blood flowed freely down his hand.  
"Asuna…" He whispered, falling to his knees in a tidal wave of emotion. "Yui…"  
What seemed like hours later, Kirito pulled himself up and staggered to the bathroom like an intoxicated zombie. He fumbled with a cabinet on the wall and pulled out three bottles of pills. With shaking hands he ripped the child safety caps off the tops and threw back a bottle. Then another. He filled the bath with cold, running water, and climbed in fully clothed. Then he closed his eyes and awaited an emptiness so dismal it would consume his entire being.  
 _'I'm almost there, Asuna. I'm almost with you again.'_ He thought, his wife's lovely face flashing behind closed eyelids.

Kirito woke to an obnoxious beeping noise. Instinctively he reached up to pull the nerve gear off his head, his damaged mind tricking him into thinking he had simply been playing a game. His hand didn't comply, and for a few blissful moments Kirito lay in a confused silence, unable to remember the events that had transpired. It couldn't last long, and soon the bitter world came raining down upon him again. Not even in death could he be reunited with his family. Kirito had escaped death again. He convinced his hand to move and cover his eyes, gross sobbing echoing through his hospital room.

Six months later, after several attempts, Kirito met his wife and daughter again.


End file.
